i made a new friend on the plane
niggaimdeadass: dis us this us actin crazy smooches to u hataz ewwww y’all ugly dis us sleep of course we cute we black
rabioheab: earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
joshsux: when mcdonalds accidentally gives you an extra chicken nugget
psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
emilioestevez: story time so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
feistie: megvsshark: trishhyy: when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.
nanceezy: I still care about you, but I can’t look at you as the same as I did before.
themisadventuresofmaddy: do you ever feel like you’re just sort of there like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care...
airagorn: dumb story because i think i’m funny we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered ‘hot wheels’
narutoe: i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
encourage: Do you ever get in those moods when everything annoys you and you’re just so irritated and nervous but you have no clue why, and you just want to punch a hole in the wall and then break down in tears?
vvierd: vvierd: do you ever look in a mirror and think why.… am i so perfect
manvchild: badkidsjokes: man:waiter how long will my pizza be ? waiter:not very long. lol This is a perfect bad kid joke.